Precious Gideon is here, and we are so blessed to have this amazing gift from God!
I apologize for the lengthiness of this post. I've had many issues with Gideon's birth that I've needed to process, and I feel like writing them down will help.
During this pregnancy, I made several statements repeatedly regarding what I would like for Gideon's arrival. Up until about 37 weeks, I was adamantly against being induced for fear of having a C-section due to "failure to progress." I always knew I wanted an epidural, in the "highly unlikely event that Gideon has to come via an emergency C-section, I'll be ready and all they'll have to do is cut." I think God laughs at our plans, sometimes.
At my 38 week appointment, I was feeling very large. My OB had some concerns about the size of my child relative to my size, so we opted to schedule an induction for the following week, with me coming in to the hospital on Sunday night for Cytotec, and starting Pitocin early Monday morning. I expected a rather lengthy affair, and even asked family to please not be at the hospital early, since there would be such a long day of waiting.
Keith and I went on a last date as a family of two on Sunday evening, with a wonderful dinner at Conner's, followed by getting Keith an early birthday present at the Fossil store, and me a new book to read in the hospital. After all, we'd be there a while, just waiting.
I promptly got called back and signed in by my L&D nurse. I got hooked up to two monitors, started Cytotec just fine, and I didn't seem to have any troubles. Out of nerves and excitement, I had a headache, and got some Tylenol about 11 at night to help. Around 1:30 in the morning I noticed contractions that were waking me up from sleep, so I requested something for pain. After handing my phone over to Keith for fear of drug-induced texting or Facebooking, I got a dose of Stadol. While I was grateful for the pain relief, the side effects were ridiculous. I had the most abnormal/vivid dreams I've ever had. I wanted to tell Keith what I was seeing in my dreams, but knew he would just laugh at me and say that I was stoned ("um...yeah, Bethany, you were").
During the night, I noticed something was a little off. My L&D nurse kept coming in to adjust the monitor on Gideon's heart. When I was admitted for my wreck, he kept kicking the monitor off, so at first I thought that's what was going on. However, in our case this time, it was much more serious.
At this point my details get a little blurry. I remember a lot of things, but it was such a swirl of activity that I had a hard time keeping track.
We started Pitocin at 5:30 am, and I was looking forward to getting to meet my little man. Yet around shift change, things started to get busy/scary in my room. My nurse was mentioning how Gideon's heart rate kept decelerating, and they couldn't figure out why. My OB came in to check me, and to break my water. They made the decision to actually discontinue my Pitocin drip, as I started to progress incredibly quickly (2 cms to 7 cms over an hour). "I'm moving fast, Keith, get my mommy here." Because I was progressing so fast, my contractions went from mild and manageable to almost unbearable over a span of about half an hour. Anesthesia came in to administer my epidural, and I was grateful for some pain relief. However, I noticed that my pain didn't get drastically better; it just dulled a little. Before too much longer, I was contracting over the epidural. All during this, there was a bustle of activity in the room. Not just my day shift nurse, but other nurses, and the charge nurse were coming in to watch Gideon's monitor. My nurse started to put compression stockings on me, and said "mommy, I'm not trying to scare you, but we might have to go to surgery. I'm gonna get you ready just in case." At this point, I was in so much pain that the thought of surgery didn't bother me at all. I knew that would mean I wouldn't hurt as much anymore.
My day nurse had me try getting in multiple different positions to see if that would help Gideon's heart. I was placed on oxygen to try and help as well. I heard my day nurse come back into the room with medicine and say to my OB on the phone "so if this doesn't work, we're going to section?" I was given terbutaline, which is usually given to stop women in premature labor from contracting to see if that would help Gideon respond better. It didn't. My OB came in the room, assessed a few things, and then said "yes, we're going to the OR."
They quickly unplugged all the monitors from the wall and started running my bed down the hall. (They do that in real life, not just on tv. Who knew?) They wouldn't let me hold Keith's hand, because I had to keep my hands inside my bed. I wanted to hold his hand; I knew he'd be scared, too. I remember calling out to Jesus at this point for the safety of my child. My OB came up alongside and started giving instructions- I remember them asking if I was wearing anything metal (my glasses and hair clips). She told Keith to put on scrubs and said they'd come get him. (They never did.) Then she asked if NICU was on board- I remember my heart sinking at this point. Not NICU, please not NICU.
We got into the OR and I was moved to the operating table. I remember thinking that I should thank the pain medicines in my system for my not feeling extremely panicked. One member of the anesthesia team pointed out that you could hear Gideon on a heart monitor in the room, and that his heart rate sounded strong "that's your baby, mommy, hear how good he sounds?" I felt them scrub my tummy, which sent me into a panic "I can feel that! I can feel that!" Another member of anesthesia (the same man who placed my epidural) said "don't worry mommy, we're putting you to sleep." An oxygen mask was placed on my face ("take good deep breaths, mommy"), something was injected into my IV line ("you might feel stinging in your arm and a tickle in your throat"), my OB called a surgical "time out" ("this is a cesarean delivery for Bethany Gallahair"...), I took deep breaths, closed my eyes...
...
I woke up an hour and a half later.
I could see the clock on the wall across the room, so someone was sweet enough to put my glasses on me while I slept. My nurse came to check on me, and told me I was done with my surgery. I had a lot of questions, and tried to sound coherent under residual effects of medication.
-"Is my baby in NICU?" (No mommy, he's in well baby nursery)
-"How is my husband? Is he okay?" (yes mommy, he's doing fine). I think I asked this more than once. When my nurse was giving report to my mother/baby nurse she mentioned how concerned I was for my husband.
-"What were the APGARs?" (8 and 9)
I heard my OB come in a few minutes later and exclaim "Oh he came out wailing! And he's adorable, too, head full of red hair!" Red hair, just like his mommy.
The rolled me into the elevator and up to my mother/baby room. I was so excited to see Keith and my mom, sister and Mr. Leslie. Keith came up and told me that no one held Gideon until I could get there- what an incredibly sweet thought. As I was holding my son for the first time, and marveling over how precious he is, I found out the true reason for why my morning had been so crazy from Keith. "Did they tell you what happened? The cord was around his neck."
I grieve some of the things I missed from that hour I was asleep. His first strong cry is a big one. I grieve that due to general anesthesia my husband couldn't be present for his son's birth. I grieve that I didn't know that I was a mommy until an hour and a half later. (For the people who wondered why we didn't update people the minute he was born, this is the reason why. His own mommy didn't know he was born.)
However, through all of the grief and chaos, I thank God for the safety of my child, and the amazing medical staff who brought him safely into the world. I'm so blessed to have a healthy son, and an incredibly supportive family to help me take care of him.
